You've done the inner work. You've been in therapy for years and you're certainly not new to self-development work. You can see your patterns and you know when you're trapped in one of them. You've spent years on a mat practicing and teaching asana. You meditate pretty consistently. And you've even bought every self-help book known to man.
But when you want to do something new and scary like...
• Going back to school for a different career
• Writing the book you've been dying to write
• Solo travel to the destination you've always wanted to see
• Start a podcast
• Ask for a raise
The philosophy of non-attachment, the kleshas, Arjuna's story on the chariot and how he stood back up goes out the window.
You can regulate and find steadiness when everything's ok, like when your bank balance is high enough, when your kids are happy, when your house is freshly cleaned and organized. But when life throws you a curveball any anchored stability and any sense of it's all going to be ok disappears when external things in your life change or you're about to do something that you've never done before.
You wake up at 3am mentally ruminating on the same conversation you had with a co-worker that didn't go well, the same worst case outcome you can't get out of your head, and you can't seem to shift out of that and get to the neutral ground where you ultimately want to be.
Here's what's happening:
Fear traps you in an invisible plexiglass box with your mind swirling in a loop. You can't close that loop unless you move the fear from the intellectual into the physical body where you can let the fear move through and re-anchor yourself to stability. This is why you can see where you want to go, but can't ever muster the courage to take the next step to get there.
You know you have something to say, something to offer. You have dreams you want to bring to life. You can feel where you want to go, maybe even see it, but you can't find the path to get from here to there.
You keep waiting for intellectual proof you're ready. One more training. One more student testimonial. One more sign that it's time. But that's not how you actually move through fears and take action towards your dreams.
You don't get certainty that it will work out perfectly, exactly like you've planned, before you take the first step. You need to build the nervous system capacity to set a goal, hold it lightly, and then start walking before you know what the path looks like.
You build the bridge by walking on it.
You keep looking for assurance that you're on the right track in manifestation content, nervous system regulation, quantum whatever. But those are partial roadmaps and knock-offs from the original which you can find inside the yoga philosophy you know and love.